Friday, September 18, 2009

So now my thoughts are mine.

I love blogging. Online diary. I never kept a diary. But still I have thousands of hours of video footage capturing moments in time. I'd like to think that after I've gone from this world then something of me may be left for others curious enough to see. Inscribed in Bruce Lee's headstone is the quote, "The first step to immortality is to first live a life worth remembering." Now, I don't want to think of what to scratch into the hunk of stone 6 ft above my final resting place, the internet provides a certain immortality. Basically you can't take the pee out of the pool. Now that the blog nation has been wittled down to the true believers and most of the non believers have deleted their blogs and are probably tweeting about every little thing thought to cross their awesome lives...I guesse my thoughts are finally mine (and to those who actually care)

For a while there blogging was for others entertainment. I pretended to live in a world where my blog thoughts were my own, but I'd feel bad when nobody commented. I poured way too much time and effort into my bloggs, more than I did with any writting I did in school. No more. Me.

/Introspection.

For the first time in a long time I can say I'm starting a new phase in my life. The last phase was knowing I was inheriting the Newspaper and basically waiting around to reap the benifits. I've watch all my friends get a career, get married, get kids. With me ever since I finished school I've been in a holding patern. So in every way I feel stunted. I'm still waiting for a big pile of cash to hit me in the face. Whats funny is that I'm not that greedy. I'm pretty much happy with the simple pleasure of life. So what am I really waiting for? I think my personality has played against me this whole time. I'm the most patient dude on the planet, I can win a blinking contest with a tree! Lately I've found that I'm tired of waiting. I suppose either I'm bored or I'm matureing. I'd lay money on the bored aspect.

Lately I've been working in a resturant. All I'm willing to say is that there is a lot of money invloved. Ive taken my mission very seriously trying to figure out where the money is going. I know where its going but I can't prove it yet. And the other day there was a big party going on that I was working with a lot of relitives there. At first I thought it would be weird serving drinks and cleaning up after ppl I know it turned out to be fine. But something my Uncle Bay said to me kinda shook me. He's one of my most admired uncles. He said to me, "So, you're playing a waiter now." And in that instant I knew that I'm still in my holding pattern. What I've been doing these past months is still temperary. Theres no freakin way I want to work in a resturant. I just don't know if I can keep it up before I finish what I set out to do.

My fam moved into a new house. I finally know that this is the last house my familly as a unit will own. After all the moving we've done since...probably when I was still in hs. This is it. The familly home base that will draw the future juatco's home every holiday. I can see it working already, in the past month I see some of my wayward cousins and their family's already drawn near. My familly home base used to be my Tita Lina's house but she passed about a decade ago and our familly has been scattered since. Her daughter, my cousin Ina, is sort of a polorizing personality to put it politely. Least to say not many of us have stood in that house very often since. This new house has an awesome aura. I can foresee my future kids running around here playing with all their cousins.

Rhoel