Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Dream Sequence No. 1

Chocolate Cake and eat it too.

MERCUTIO
True, I talk of dreams;
Which are the children of an idle
brain,

And boy has my brain been idle. When I moved to Surrey last month I found a book that I acquired and subsequently forgot about called "Remembering and Understanding Your Dreams". I haven't read it yet because it has about 3 books ahead of it on my 'to do' list. I used to keep a dream log, there were certain techniques I used to use to remember dreams and then I'd write them down in great detail as soon as I awoke. I haven't been doing it for a while because I never had the knowledge to properly interpret them, probably the reason I had bought the book in the first place. And lately I haven't been remembering my dreams, but I did this morning.

I won't go into great detail because I was only able to scribble a few notes on my way out this morning, and because I don't think they're necessary here.

A lot of my dreams take place in enormous empty buildings. Sometimes so huge that I can't see the ceilings or ends of the rooms or halls. This time it was a school. And there was a buffet style set up outside of a giant swimming pool. At the buffet I kept walking by and grabbing and greedily eating 3-4 pieces of rich chocolate cake at a time; and I went back so many times. Eventually it was time to play water polo and I was kicking some major booty. I was like a dolphin amongst buoys. Soon after it was time to go home, but I couldn't remember my schedule and realized I hadn't been going to class for a couple of weeks. Then I couldn't remember the combo to my locker so I just went home without my stuff. Then I woke up. The school, sched and locker things are common in my dreams but the water polo and cake were new.

I haven't read the book yet, but I was able to look up some of the symbols:

Building: nothing I read is relevant other than the psychological meaning (PM)of a building is of ones self. Mystical meaning (MM)of a large building thou means the coming of positive changes.

School: PM. Unresolved childhood insecurities. Or a metaphor for what one is learning from life over a long period carrying a feeling of nostalgia. MM. Business setbacks if one dreams of forgetting ones lessons.

Cake: PM. Something divided between many ppl. Not getting ones fair share.

Eating: Freud-eating is closely associated with sexuality. Gorging may indicate indulgent sexuality. Eating may symbolizes qualities one is making part of ones self.

Water: PM. Feelings and emotions. Nature of the water can reveal emotional state. (turbulent water=turbulent emotions)

Swimming: PM Expanses of water symbolizes the unconscious. Swimming shows trust and support of the unconscious.

Locker: I couldn't find anything. But under 'box' I found that it's the container of ones psyche. The act of opening being a symbol of spiritual exploration.

I can see how a lot of this applies to me almost immediately. But certain things, like the locker or box I've struggled with for a while. I actually consider myself a very spiritual person even if I don't really believe in god (any god). And forgetting my locker combo(stopping me from opening) and schedule, wtf is that? Obviously there's parts of my psyche I haven't dealt with yet. Anyways, brain hurts. Later folks. Rhoel.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Brain Storm.

I don't know what to write about. So our local insomniak suggests that I just brain storm. Let whatever leak out of ma brain and on to the page.

-Lets have a moment of silence for Indian Larry who most recently passed away. FYI he's a custom bike builder from Gasoline Alley Bikes in New York. He's been featured on Discovery's Biker Build off series and Motor Mania series. Apparently he was doing his signature 'stand on his seat' move in front of 8000 ppl at a show when he was unable to regain control of his bike after it had started to wobble from beneath him. He was air lifted and later died from massive head trauma. He wasn't wearing a helmet. In fact, I'm not sure if that deserves a moment of silence.

In almost every subculture around there is always some anti macho sentiment like not wearing helmets, seat belts, face protection (hockey), HAANS device in car racing etc etc. A biker would rather risk brain damage because it's 'cool' to go with out a lid. Hockey players must see missing teeth and face scars as badges of courage (eye injuries, yikes). To me that's just plumb dumb.

-I never thought I'd ever duck someone bye screening my phone calls. I always thought that there wasn't anything in the world that I'd hide from. But lately I've found that I just don't want to talk about it, like I don't have the strength or breath. And it seems to be happening a lot lately. I think I've finally put an end to it today. So lets hope that's an end to that.

-So since PR I've pretty much been a bum. Eating everything in sight, drinkin a lot, not exercising at all. I think I've only shaved twice all week. Basically I've been a soap dodging dirt bomb. Well that all ended today when I went for a run. It's amazing how after only one week of inactivity how ones fitness level can slip so. It wasn't so bad at the time but I have a feeling my legs are gonna hurt in the morning. And since I've moved back to hilly surrey, after the two years of running around flat Richmond; I have found that hills kill. I think my next purchase will be a new pair of running shoes and some new running gear 'cause my old stuff is starting to acquire that 'hockey smell', you know when your gear starts to smell like barf every time it gets wet, hehe. It's gotten to the point where I have to wash my hoody after every run!!! ewwww stinky!!! I feel sorry for anyone that's runnin behind me. Another cultural thing to hockey players is they seem to love old gear. I'm sorry but if any of my shite starts to smell and I can't wash it out then its going into the garbage.

Anyways, it's sleepy time. Night folks. Rhoel.

PS. I spell checked just for you Crispy, enjoy it 'cause it may not happen again!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Northern Exposure.

"...any mans finest hour--his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear--is that moment he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle--victorious." Vince Lambardi.

Today I had a long 4 hour blink that interupted my day.

Yesterday I somehow managed to teleport from Prince Rupert to Surrey. Yesterday was like a slide show of images interspersed with bouts of unconsciousness rather than a coherent memory. If I strung all those images together it seems like it only took me like ten minutes to get home. I barely remember the airports and I don't remember any bridges or ferrys so I probably flew at some point and possibly swam part of my journey.

Saturday night was a case of delayed gratification. For the most of two days previous I was wrapped up in a giant stress ball and all I wanted to do was release and get retarded in here. But I had to keep my head untill midnight to party like a rockstar and between midnight and Sunday morning I managed to drink myself into a coma. It's funny, you'd think that with all that liquid going down ones throat that one would drown. Drowning or no, I was dead to the world.

The reason for the stress for me was dancing Sinkil without having had time that day to mentally go thru it. We practiciced it a few times but that was more like going thru the motions. The whole matinee show was pure reaction to me, I was running on instinct because we didn't have any time to prepare for it that day. What didn't help was that I realised how tired my legs felt since I walked up the tiny hill to the corner store that morning and the fact that my feet were cramping because I taped the sinkil shoes so tight to my feet 10 mins before I had to go on. I had a dark forboding that afternoon when I learned of the scheduling snafu considering the excersise in Murphy's Law that was the Gala show the night before.

Our Technical Director ends up in the hospital an hour before the show. Our Wardrobe director gets a 30 min crash course on tech direction. Our most prepared and clutch performer forgets his costumes at the bus station. These things don't happen, and they don't happen on the same day. I think there were a few more misfortunes but I think I've mentally blocked them out. I should have known that things were not normal that first morning at the theatre when I was the first to arrive...

On Friday we left for PR to be treated like super stars from the moment we arrived and to party like rock stars a few days later. I wonder if my Alive and Northern Exposure thoughts would come to fruitation. All I know is that sitting with the planes propeller about a foot away from my head with a thin sheet of aluminum and plexi glass protecting me was kinda freaking me out. I think I got whiplash because I spent almost the whole time staring at it wondering if I had enough time to jump out of the way if I suddenely saw a gremlin on the wing exploding the engine...

All in all this was such an awesome tour. I think this was our best tour since San Fran in 96. With the extreme stress I had extreme fun to balance me out. We had two awesome shows and we partied like it was the end of the world except that I woke up feeling like I got hit by a car instead of on fluffy clouds.

Anyways this is getting long. I'm sure I'll think of more things to write about the tour tomorrow when I'm more rested. I'd like to end off with saying that all of you are like my best friends. I tend to recyle friends every 5 years or so yet somehow I know all of you will always be there for me, and I for you. Rhoel.

"Oh my shooting stars!" Mia Diao

"Are we still flying or did we crash and we don't know it yet?" Michelle Correa looking at all the clouds.

"Ball?" Emilly Ryan Correa.

"It feels like I'm leaving for 4 months, not 3 days *tear*." Mel Losanas.

"...blah blah blah Francis blah blah..." Armondo.

"How about I take that fork and scramble your face?" Randy.

"I'm so hammered, are you my host familly?" Randy.

"(dramatic pause)...wait a sec...how old are you?" Rhoel talking to May.

"FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!" Marc when he realised he didn't have his costumes.

"I feel like Oprah!" Randy.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

What was that movie?

You know that movie when that rugby team was flying thru the mountains and crashed and they had to eat each other to survive? I should remember because it was on one fatful night that I happen to choose that movie for a first date purely on the fact that it started and ended at a certain time allowing me ample time to get my swerve on afterwards and be in bed long enough to be sharp for a midterm the next morning. Who knew that it was about canabalism, how sexy is that? To quote my date, "holy fuck they're eating each other!"Judging bye the movie poster I thought it was about skiing and hot tubbing with a few requisite R rated naked scenes. Note to self: R rated may involve ppl...eating ppl. But that really wasn't a leasoned learned since even without skiing someone got ones swerve on anyways...

Well, my dance troupe and I will be leaving for Prince Rupert tomorrow for 3 fabuolous shows in 3 fabulous days. Btw, if the plane crashes I give all of y'all permission to eat me. I'm dead, what do I care? FYI PR is a city that is the gateway from Alaska, which gets me thinking of Northern Exposure meets the planet Hoth from Star Wars.

Circa about 8 years ago I started dancing prince and I was fitted for my own costume, the first of many, yet I inherited Rodneys Ginormous shoes. I tried everything to make them work, I stuck rubber adhesive patches for traction, At tito Rudy's suggestion I religiously soaked them in Coke the night before, also for traction, yet they were still huge! Eventually I ended up wrapping my foot and shoe up in packing tape. Problem solved. The look was so striking that magically the next show I was presented with new shoes that actually fit. Now, many moons later I'm reprising my role as prince for the Matinee in my latest prince costume...and Rodneys enormous shoes. BTW I'm bringing a fresh role of packing tape...

-Before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you judge them you'll be a mile away...and you'll have their shoes.-

Anyways, I've been detracted after long msn conversations with Celine and Randy so the rest will have to wait. If you never hear from me again...you know who did it, but it's ok because I gave'm permission. Ro.