Girls might not know what I'm talking about...you know that moment when you saddle up beside someone...two masculine type of guys "*Gruff*, how 'bought dem Nucks?"...in a somewhat intimate setting in close approximation when all one wants to do is wait for the buisness to be done and keep eyes front and centre all the whilst? Yeah, that's usually me at stop lights too. But why is that? We're all friends right?
I suppose with me it has a lot to do with spending parts of my childhood in NJ and the more ghetto parts of Seattle where one doesn't usually make eye contact with someone one wouldn't be comfortable getting punched in the face by...or shot in the face by... And then it continued in HS when for some reason everyone wanted to race me. Like I'm gonna race a V8 Camaro with my little Honda, why don't you bother some Mustangs or Vettes and see how cocky you are then muthafhukah! What's that saying about short guys that drive real big cars... And then I suppose at some point one justs retreats into their own heads to deal with the boredom of traffic and ones car becomes a bubble with nothing of consequence outside this metal box. For some reason I always picture the the guy beside me is always the same dude or dudette(if she's driving like a women, or an old women, or an old asian women or any combination of the words women, asian, or old) that want's to race me or shoot at me or shoot at me as we race. Like pushing through a room full of mannequins, I unconsiously imagine they have the same face. Actually when I know it's a female driver I generally don't want to look because I have a tendency to stare, it seems like I'm undressing with my eyes (9/10 time I probably am) but usually I'm just looking and thinking of something else (if 1/10 can be considered the usual)
Yesterday I distributed my newspaper. This requires me to be in my truck for anywhere from 5-7 hours (depending on traffic and parking situations) For the most part I'm usually thinking of the task at hand. But yesterday I tried to make it a point to look at the other drivers beside me each time I stopped at a light. For the most part I either forgot or didn't think to look, but still I don't think I've ever seen so many ppl in one day. I know it's not scientifically desirable to make conclusions based on such a small sample batch but I noticed a few things:
-Most ppl don't look, I suppose urinal etiquette is in effect. "I know you're there, you know I'm here and I know you know I that I know...move along nothing to see here."
-Genuinely hot girls that acknowledge you with a quick look usually smile.
-Big fat girls are quick to give you 'tude.
-Guys are generally a 'what's up' nod, more casual on the whole. I guess we're more used to the etiquette.
Speaking of urinal etiquette, I find it quite funny. I actually look around a lot, using my peripherals, but still looking. I don't go so far as trying to sneak a peak at Willey but I look at their body language. Especially the ones that act like they're doing something wrong. There's the kind that choose the urinal way at the end or in the corner trying their hardest to turn their back on you, or the ones that lean right into the urinal trying to create a perfect seal, both of which are hoping the guy standing right beside them doesn't notice that they're in a compromised position with parts hangin out. To me I automatically think the dude has a teeny weennie. LOL. For all I know he may be hung like John Holmes but if you act like you're trying to hide something... I suppose that's why guys don't go to the bathroom together, you'd have to talk to the person you know. In movies girls talk to each other thru the stall walls. That would be weird. Maybe that's why they go to the bathroom together. You know they're talking about us. And before you say anything just remember that just because one is paranoid dosn't mean one isn't being followed. Or in this case, talked about.
Rhoel.
Quickly editing what I wrote, and checking for spelling *thanks* lets take count on the different demegraphics I may have offended. Short ppl. Camaro owners. Women in general. Old ppl. Asian ppl. Big fat women. Guys with small willies. But before you think ill of me, may I remind you that I fit many of those generalizations. I'm not telling you which ones...definately not the last one...bam! Hehe, nice.
posted by R @ 11:10 AM
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